Happy Homemaker, Ph.D.

A novice homemaker's attempts to use her engineering Ph.D. to serve her family

Lessons in the Clouds

on May 4, 2015

Earlier this year, my four-year-old drew a picture.  As she told me the story of what it was, I was surprised at how much it related to my current circumstances – and the wisdom the Spirit impressed upon me through her.

On a simple piece of brown construction paper, she had drawn colorful clouds above her and a black, hairy bear next to her.

God in the clouds

God in the clouds

“This is me.  God is trying to get my attention in the clouds,” she told me, “but I’m too scared of the bear!”

She spoke as if her fear paralyzed her from seeing the beauty of the clouds or from looking to the God who painted them for her.  I realized I had often been doing the same.

While my early mornings were brightened by great beauty in the quiet stillness before my three, active little girls awakened, I still found myself steered by my fears, fears that sometimes seemed completely irrational and other times were so real to me that I couldn’t seem to think clearly.

What if something was wrong with the baby I carried?

How would I deal with the needs of four children under the age of five?

How would we survive those first days and weeks after the baby was born with no support network in place in the new city we lived in?

Would our financial situation support us?

What if something went wrong with our planned home birth?

So many questions and doubts plagued my mind when this was the scene right outside my window.

Sunrise

Brilliant colors changed continually as the angle of the sun gradually changed.  Blazing oranges and bright pinks softened as the sun ascended over the horizon.  The shadowy mountains came alive as the light shone on them and reflected off the snow-capped peaks.

Mountain Sunrise

Some mornings I didn’t even look, I was so immersed in my own plans or fears.

But when I did take the time to watch the beauty of the sunrise, I was struck by how temporary that beauty was, how each moment was different, colorful, amazing, and then — over.

These days of mothering four children under five (Yes, the fourth one arrived safely not long ago, and God has completely provided for us through others, despite my fears.) are hard.  I’m tired.  The house is in varying degrees of disarray depending on the moment.  The laundry, dishes, cooking, diapering, feeding, and dressing can seem overwhelming at times, and yet, I still need to take time to enjoy these precious days.  They are temporary.  Each moment is different, colorful, amazing, and then — over.  

The moment when my three-year-old’s soft voice tells me, “I want to be with you, Mom.  You’re my best, best friend.”

The moments of holding my newborn close as we gaze into each others’ eyes.

The moments my one-year-old takes my face in her hands, smiles broadly, and laughs boisterously as I play our game of turning my head to one side and then back to face her.

The moments of seeing my four-year-old feel success and pride in her accomplishments as she writes her alphabet, solves a problem, or composes a new song that she insists on singing at the top of her lungs.

Different, colorful, amazing, and oh, so easy to miss.

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? (Psalm 27:1)

Today, may we take our eyes off whatever we may be fearing and fix our eyes on Jesus.  He’s trying to get our attention and show us the most beautiful revelations of His love!  We just need to be present where He’s placed us and take in the moments He’s given.

Advertisements

4 responses to “Lessons in the Clouds

  1. Liz says:

    Love it,Dana! So glad everything went well with the birth. We’re praying for you all. Love, Liz

    • Dana K says:

      The birth was AMAZING! I’ll have to write more about it soon. I’m trying to make the blog a bit more of a priority than I have for a couple years, so hopefully I’ll find the time to share some more stories. There are so many good ones! God is good!

  2. ks_windmills says:

    That Clara is SO awesome.  I can still hear her singing, and her imagination WOWGreat Bear/clouds lesson, such an old soul  🙂    ~~Dean  † Sondra~~When in doubt, just take the next small step.

  3. I love this! I, too, find myself distracted by what-ifs associated with the blessings around me- usually my kids and my pregnancy.This is a really neat perspective check!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: